Recently, my friend Katie posted an article on Facebook. It was about comments made by Bill Murray's at a South Carolina wedding he crashed over the weekend. He said,
“If you have someone that you think is The One, don't do… don’t just
sort of think in your ordinary mind, 'Okay, let's make a date. Let's
plan this and make a party and get married.' Take that person and travel
around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all
around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to
get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and
you're still in love with that person, get married at the airport.”
And I kind of liked that. It's pretty real. And true!
Life really isn't all sunshines and rainbows all the time. I've had a pretty hard dose of reality this week myself. Today is Wednesday, I have missed 3 days of work this week, and I missed all previous weekend's festivities because I've been sick since FRIDAY. This is not at all how I pictured my time in Europe. My idea of a perfect summer has just been slapped in the face. I had to cancel a bike ride to a pancake house and castle with my colleagues, I canceled a trip to the zoo in Amsterdam, I turned down plans for dinner, and I didn't make it out for a friend's birthday last night, and I am actually really upset about how far behind I will be in work next week. But I suppose all of this really is pretty trivial. My social calendar will recover.
The upside of this unfortunate illness is that I have had a lot of time to think. A LOT. I have literally been so still and had more time to think than I have in the past year. The busy life of a vet student is not to be understated. We literally don't have an ounce of effort to dedicate to anything other than school, without sacrificing school (which...yeah, we do sometimes). And as soon as school ended in April, I was on a plane to California, then back to NC to work for a week, then to Alabama for a NASCAR race, then on a plane to Europe. And since I've been here, my life still hasn't slowed down for one second. So many wonderful friends, places to explore, foods to try...
I have been in constant motion since August 14th.
But this week is different. Nothing to do. No exams to study for. No errands to run. Just a lot of quite time in my room, in The Netherlands. And thankfully, it's been chilly and rainy, so I don't feel the desire to be outside. I've watched a couple movies, had a couple good yoga sessions, spent too much time on Facebook...
I have to admit though, these last few quite days have been rough. For a girl who obtains a lot of her energy from her active environment and other people, alone time is really just okay if it's planned. I need to know how long I'll be alone for and when I'll be around people again, so I have something to look forward to. Again, this week has been different. I surly didn't expect to feel sick THIS long. And with a holiday approaching, I really don't want to waste that time at home, alone.
So yes, beginning tomorrow (Thursday) is a two day holiday during which the University will be closed. A whole 4-day weekend?! I have spent hours this week brainstorming where to go. Italy, Ireland, France? I have consulted friends on travel plans, and what do to if I still don't feel well tomorrow. France is the easiest to get to, so I decided to plan a trip to Normandy and Paris. However, even that has been hard for me to plan. I'm tremendously hesitant. This will be my first international trip alone. Making friends has never been hard for me, but I truly feel very uncertain about a lot of it. I have arrangements to CouchSurf in Normandy tomorrow night, but then what? And what if the trains are full when I arrive in the morning? And will I be feeling well enough to travel (which is why I haven't made many reservations yet). There are literally a thousand things running through my mind, creating all of this uneasiness I'm feeling. They don't even speak English in France. Yikes. Okay, I'm pretty scared now.
However, traveling by myself is not a totally new concept. I spent 4 weeks last summer on a road trip around the US with my dog, and truly had some of the greatest experiences of my life. But I always felt safe from behind the wheel of my car. It was always comforting for me to know I could sleep in my car if I had to. And I was in total control of my day; how fast I wanted to get somewhere, or how slow. But the security of traveling in my own car is about to be challenged on tomorrow's trip to Normandy. I will essentially be out of control of a lot of situations I'm used to being in control of. Yes, I am tremendously apprehensive. But I am trying to remember all of the good reasons to do this as well. There will still be people where I am going, and some of them will speak English. There will be food, and shelter, and hotels. Do I really need much else? I can always leave when I want (provided there is a train available, when I want). There is also a lot of opportunity for me to learn. Before last summer, I had never traveled extensively on my own. I was scared then too, but I did it. Same goes for now. It's just a really good time for me to get over my fears.
So, to bring it back to Bill's statement. Yes, travel often, and travel when it's hard. It does force you into a different mindset, and the decisions you make tell a lot about yourself. Even though Bill stresses the importance of traveling with someone else to decide if you're in love with them, I urge you to travel with yourself too. Learning to love yourself is an entirely different kind of love. It's the love that will let others in, somewhere down the road. It's a love that teaches you to trust yourself, even when all you see in front of you is doubt. It's also a love that will never abandon you.
So if you're in a relationship, get out and travel the world with that person! See what your love is made of! If you're not (and even if you are!), get out and travel the world alone. The love you create will blow your mind. It builds confidence, and strength in times of uncertainty. There is such a powerful energy that comes from making your own decisions, for only you, and then reveling in the success of those moments, or occasionaly, suffering the consequences. Either way, it's worth it. Plus, it always makes for a good story to share. ;)
I am also deeply saddened by the passing of Maya Angelou today. Always a sucker for a good poem, and she will be greatly missed. She's leaving me with the perfect quote tonight: 'Trust life, a little bit.'
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